(September 17, 2020)
32 months.
The cooler air makes me miss certain things about you, dad. I miss when I was younger and we'd make up football plays and you'd never complain about chasing the ball after I kicked it over the powerline from the tee you bought me. I miss how you would cut the grass in different patterns to make paths for me. I miss you picking me up from soccer practice. I miss your endless questions about my day. I miss watching football with you. I miss decorating the house outrageously for every away NC State game. I miss tailgating before home football games after rushing from my soccer games. I miss the walk to Carter-Finley on Saturdays. I miss you bringing me gatorade after I finished a cross country meet. I miss you complimenting me on volleyball even though you didn't get time to understand it. I miss you running with me so I'd feel safe when I was younger. I miss you cooking on the grill attached to your car after games. I miss seeing your face after I made a bad play or scored a point. I miss the way you would smell after a day at work. I miss your old boots being by the door. I miss you always bringing me food to surprise me. I miss picking up pecans in the yard so mom could cut the grass easier. I miss playing in the rain or shoveling snow while you watched from the porch. I miss learning from you. I miss building and fixing things with you. I miss shooting basketball with you. I miss the word play we would use to make each other laugh. I miss the way you never hesitated to play outside with me. I miss playing basketball inside on my mini hoop (even though mom worried we'd break stuff). I miss your cooking and how I could always make you laugh by never knowing what meat it was. I miss our inside jokes. I'm starting to forget them and that scares me so much. I forget what your voice sounds like sometimes and that breaks my heart. I miss seeing the smudge on your glasses. I miss how involved you were with my life and those around me. I miss how you would always find places for me to take pictures. I miss how you would never cut the grass under the tree at the road until I had taken pictures of those bright yellow leaves. I miss everything about you because I miss you. I even miss you fussing at me because no matter what you would tuck me in and play with my feet before we went to sleep. I miss your texts. I miss your penguin and minion gifs that you always knew would cheer me up when I was having a tough day. Thank you for teaching me and guiding me and loving me and supporting me. I love you big, dad. If anyone has read to here, I would love if you could share a memory you have of my dad. Also, note it's the little things I remember best--don't stop doing the little things for people.
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