two years

(January 16, 2020)

tomorrow makes 2 years. that doesn’t seem possible, but time is weird these days. i wish you were here for so many things you’ve had to miss. since you’ve been gone, i’ve experienced senior year, had two proms, graduated, moved away, started college, gotten a dog, lost friends, gained new friends, and so many little things that are just as important. it’s not fair that you’re not here, but the time you had with us taught us so much. thank you for teaching me how to fix the sink when it gets a leak and how to refill my windshield wiper fluid and that the most important thing in life is to be kind. i still pick up the phone every day to call you to tell you about my day or something that’s going on. i miss you every day. i always wish you were here to give me some funny but surprisingly good advice. i wish i could tell you about my dog and how college is going. i wish people were nicer and things were less scary, but you prepared me for that whether you knew it or not. thank you for the best 6207 days with me—just 2 shy of 17 years. the amount of time we had together didn’t matter, though; the quality of the time we shared will last forever. thank you, daddy. i love you always and will continue to “be sweet. be nice to people. and make you proud.” i remember that snowy morning so vividly and part of me wants to forget all about it. i’m sure you wish i didn’t have to do what i did. i know you didn’t plan it, but it’s made me such a stronger person. i have helped people by sharing my experience. even though it was the worst day of my life, it was the day that showed me how strong i am and put everything into perspective so quickly. i know one day we’ll get to sled like we’d planned to that day, but until then i’ll think of all our amazing memories with every snow. if anyone has actually read this far, hug your loved ones. tell your family how much they mean to you. don’t hold back saying “i love you”. take pictures. take videos. love big.